In brief
Separation anxiety is common as children start preschool, often leading to distress during drop-off times. Experts emphasize the importance of gradual exposure, creating routines, and fostering resilience in both children and parents. Establishing a supportive environment can help children manage their fears and adapt to new experiences, ensuring a smoother transition into formal education.
On her first full day of preschool, Alexander Lane’s 3-year-old daughter hesitated, remaining in the car for an hour because she didn't want to go inside. However, by the third day, she joyfully ran into her classroom. Starting preschool is a significant milestone, fraught with emotional challenges for many children, particularly those experiencing separation anxiety for the first time.
Lane recognized his daughter’s apprehension about being away from her parents. After a series of missed classes, he decided to keep her home for a while before starting preschool, understanding that pushing her into the experience wouldn’t help.
“Telling a child they’ll just enjoy it if they push through isn’t very convincing,” Lane noted, highlighting the natural anxieties children feel when facing new routines.
Psychologists, like Erica Lee from Boston Children’s Hospital, assert that some anxiety is normal as kids begin a new school year and adapt to changes. However, prolonged separation anxiety can affect daily activities and might require professional attention.
Empowering Children and Parents
In her nearly two decades of teaching preschool, Kimberly Skukalek has encountered many children grappling with separation anxiety. Her mission is to cultivate a safe school environment, not just for anxious kids but also for their parents, many of whom may feel more anxious than their children.
Izabela Milaniak, a psychologist at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, argues that overprotecting children from tough situations can inhibit resilience. She emphasizes that rather than avoiding the anxiety-provoking scenario, children should be allowed to confront their fears, promoting self-soothing and independence.
Paretns like Patrick Edmondson, whose son Miles faced challenges when starting preschool, opted not to indulge their child’s anxiety by skipping school. They reassured him and offered a comforting 'bravery toy' for school, which gradually helped him adapt. Now, Miles enjoys school and rides the bus joyfully.
Creating Comfort through Routine
Gradual exposure to separation can ease children into new experiences. Lee recommends starting with brief separations, expanding as children grow more comfortable. Parents can establish quick goodbye rituals to create a sense of stability without prolonging departures.
Lane facilitated his daughter’s transition by enrolling her in half-day classes over the summer and preparing her for school activities, which promoted her agency in the process.
Monitoring Ongoing Anxiety
Separation anxiety can manifest through tantrums at drop-off, clinginess at home, or resistance to sleeping alone. Lee explains that these fears often stem from concerns about potential harm coming to themselves or their caregivers when apart. If signs of anxiety persist for an extended period, consulting a pediatrician may be advisable.
Despite the challenges, separation anxiety is manageable and treatable, as children can learn to cope with their fears at any age. The journey through preschool should empower both children and parents, cultivating confidence and resilience for future experiences.
